Friday, October 11, 2013

Love in the Time of Video Games

I am a gamer. I mean a REAL gamer, not one of those fake, "I own all of the Halo and Gears of War Games" gamers or "I play World of Warcraft after my late shift at the strip club" gamers but a "I am running through Secret of Mana for the 15th time" gamer, a "I'm playing Dungeons & Dragons for 14 straight hours, what am I doing with my life" gamer.

Being a gamer, specifically a video gamer, is more than just picking up a PS3 on a whim and posting a facebook status that you can't figure out how to make Lara Croft's top come off. Acknowledging that you own a video game and occasionally turn it on is not enough. That's like someone claiming that they are a football fan because they like to go to their home teams games sometimes. No. You're not a true football fan until you've physically and verbally abused someone for the sake of the game. Being a true gamer is no different. I have seriously threatened to maim a person for standing in front of the TV while trying to finish Goof Troop.

Those switch puzzles can kiss my entire ass.
Gaming is not just a hobby, but a lifestyle. While I love to go clubbing and dancing, drinking with friends and hanging out, I will at a heart beat kick that shit to the curb and curl up on the couch and play through all 3 Uncharted games. Putting aside these social obligations often backfires in the form of angry friends and girlfriend, missed booze, and slight guilt. I think it gets even worse when I blow off friends to play play video games with other friends, and then blow off those friends to play table top games with other friends, just to say fuck it all and play Pokemon in the comfort of my bed. Some people may say that I'm being unproductive and that I'm wasting my time. These people can also kiss my entire ass.

Video Games are one of the best forms of entertainment because it combines all aspects of life. Amazing things such as art, music, and literature has inspired and been inspired by gaming. Listen to this awesome song from Rage Racer, or this one from Sonic Adventure. Are you a fan of art? Check out the highly sumi-e inspired graphics and gameplay of Okami. Even the plot of many games are on par, if not better than that of movies and books. Like the A Song of Fire and Ice series? Then you'll love the political intrigue and the religious background of Final Fantasy Tactics.

Also, the murder. Lots of murder.
There are video games for everyone. There are games where you can create and run your own amusement park. There are games that are needlessly complicated movies in disguise. There are games where you can kill people with your hair. There are even games where you play a deranged man who systematically stalks, kidnaps, and rapes a woman and her two young daughters Why Japan, why?

With such a vast library of fun and interactive games which can stimulate your mind and body, I am proud to say that yes bitches, I am a gamer. I was a gamer when I was born, and i'll be a gamer til I die! And I encourage everyone of all backgrounds to partake in some form of gaming. It is an amazing stress reliever and cheaper than most forms of entertainment.

Plus Boobs. All of the boobs.

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