As a man it's pretty simple to just launch a couple of sailors into the abyss and wait for the treasure, but the real work falls on The Woman. That's a 9 month burden she will have to bear, and heaven forbid she make a god damned decision about it. One moment she's like "You know, i'd rather not have a human parasite burst from my pelvis" and the next she's like "I WANT TO BE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW" and burns her birth control in a dark fertility ritual.
|If it only were so simple.|
The wife assures me i'll have the same bond with an adopted child that I would with my own. "It'll be like with Beau" she says, forgetting that I am rational person and that as much as I love my doggo to death, I still see him as a damned dog. She's right though, I would love the adopted child as my own, but IF AND ONLY IF I am allowed to dramatically reveal that we are not their birth parents at some point.
|Probably with more explosions|
I get jealous sometimes, when I see parents out with their kids doing all kinds of fun things. I think about my own childhood; all the great things I experienced, all things I missed out on. I think about the chance to make up for that with my own kids. I think about my brother and his daughters and how much joy they bring each other. I think I would be a great dad! We'd do all kinds of cool stuff. Go to museums and to see movies, play in the park, solve mysteries. It could subject the poor child to all of my fiendish whims!
On the other hand, I think about having to be responsible for another human life. Sometimes I debate not getting off my own ass to handle my own basic needs, how can I be expected to handle the needs of a child? Hell I almost murdered my wife and I the other night making rice. FUCKING RICE. I see those stories about the horrible gamer parents and I don't think "Wow how unfortunate" I think "Well shit what If that happens to me?" That's not a good sign people! That's a lot of pressure for one inept man to handle.
The wife and I think about if we're ready to bring a child into this world. I mean, I already hate most people on this pathetic blue pearl. But with a child, I would have to actively interact with even more of them, including the murderers, rapists, furries and libertarians. As a black man, I already fear that some fragile white person will decide that I must die in order for them to not suffer a minor inconvenience, so it's not easy to contemplate subjecting my child to that fear. Bringing another life into this world is like going to a really shitty party where people are literally dying and then calling someone up and telling them to come through.
|"What's the blood curdling screaming sound? Oh its just Panic at the Disco"|