Monday, November 4, 2013

Short and Sweet

So today marks the second year of me being together with Honey Badger: the day she lured me back to her burrow with the promises of television and possibly beer, leaving me with love rabies and a Honey Badger-shaped bite mark on my right shoulder.

I now have to feed her my fresh blood daily to keep her satiated
If there's anything I can say about the past two years, is that it's been... interesting? Being in a serious relationship is some serious business, and its not all fun and games. You don't get to have sex all the time, or when you want. You have to delete all most of your pornography, and you definitely cannot leave the toilet seat up. Apparently, there's something about female urination which prevents them from checking if the toilet seat is up, possibly because their eye lids and their urethra open and close at the same time. As hilarious as it is to hear shrill cries of wet-bottomed rage, DO NOT DO THIS.

Our relationship has had its ups and downs. We have our go-to arguments, we piss each other off, but at the end of the day we know that the only reason that shit gets as bad as it does is because we care. We care enough to get that angry, we care enough to forgive, and we care enough to do it all over again.

It's hard to explain why my love for this woman is so strong. To me, there's this warmth that she gives off that I find irresistible. It could be the hottest day ever and she could comfort me with this inexplicable radiance.

It also helps fend off evil Kung-Fu Masters
For better or for worse, I happily accept the many changes that have come as a result as placing this beautiful, intelligent, and feral woman into my life. I pray that you readers out there in the intertubes would be as blessed to be as happy as I am right now.

I'd be happier with a 3DS and Pokemon X/Y (hint, hint)

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